Floyd's....this note is not about music though....just that this track began right while i was contemplating a title for what i am about to pen (rather post) next.... Pasting the lyrics may well accomplish my intent for this blog...but plagiarism is already conflicting with my satisfaction over the start!
So here i am....in void....into the unseen oblivion...I finally did QUIT...always knowing that only the under-privileged or incompetant fear unemployment...
My boisterous ego tells me i am neither....but i may well miss the starting gun...unless told when to run...
If quitting without an offer in hand seems foolhardy, exercising an immediate vacation on yaari..dosti and full on udhari...must seem very much "Debashree"...
Seeking pebbles in the singing brooks arising in himalayas...when i should be seeking a job...Past ten days have all been about wants and needs and haves and have nots...retrospection and speculation....and trying to escape the chaos ....reach the blissful barren base of Leh....
The last was however defying gods good will...We were not supposed to go beyond the line of vegetation....it was so obvious a dictate...the signs....
-Delhi bandh, the day we reached....circuit house not booked...cloths soaked....incessant rains in manali....land slides in spitti.....changed plans still....keylong and sarchu perhaps....but..Rambo's(our pre-booked vehicle) no. switched off...again hired scorpio......car window jammed.... the one dry day we get to leave for rohtang....stuck for 14 hrs just 1 km away from the pass...
We never reached our destination....never saw the arid landscapes....or the monasteries...never played in the snow...True, didn't do a thing as planned..And I was genuinely happy....despite all the mishaps....
The insipidity of norms revealed....the need to adhere to a set of ground rules fictioned...some say... happiness is a state of mind....I say... having a liberal.. unshackled ..mind..... is happiness!
Finding my way back home being away from home......being my true self.....realizing the arrogance of my isolation...those long walks in the snaking valley side by side a friend...without needing speech...the silence of the attachment we have...overwhelmed...humbled....
Unknowingly...unwittingly....but deliberately...ensconced in a world of my own....away from all my known...my desperation for independence blinded me...for better or worse?...still confounded!!
Independence cannot be the act of physical seclusion...I now know....It must be the mind then....to be confined within all my obligations and still fly high...to acquiesce all ...and be happy.....
Rather pretend to be happy....there...i am a rat in the race....a mask instead of a face.....
PS. should always listen to the wise old monk.....
