Holika dahan ... setting evil ablaze. Such high aspirations... The auspicious pyre personifies our innermost ... acute sense of nihilism. In our merriment, we just break things...burn things... resolutely destroy the otherwise serene ambiance.
It was so much fun, breaking desks & benches on the last day of the school. Act of uber courage. Finally free from the anarchy of stereotypical pedagogy. How often have I laughed upon breaking glasses in parties, encoring fist fights, cheering cat fights... Ringing the calling bells at ungodly hours & running off... reveling at the sneak peeks of disgusted neighbors ... oh what fun it has been... growing up.
As I see around, right from infancy... we have an inherent inclination of damaging everything around us. Toddlers don't let go of their toys as a matter of weak grip. It's a deliberate action of throwing things... banging it hard on the floor, ripping the elements apart. Is it not our basic instinct to keep fragile object off the infant reach?
Matured beings have made an art of demolition. The refine intricacies of explosives... the perfect murder of our environment... the intense ravaging of hearts...I witness and wonder... our annihilative mind.
The simple act of some goons smashing my car on the very joyous ....colorful occasion of holi... has been so insightful. The chill of vulnerability... hapless victimization .... and the need to fake courage. Toss away the matter as just material damage. Loathsome!!! The brevity of local cops was an extended assurance of how insipid it is to rationalize human behavior. "Kya saheb... itna nahi tension leneka... holi me hota hai..." It is indeed ... this "hota hai.....chalta hai" ...attitude that keeps us sane.
Now, a day later, I can't even find this act of vandalism, malicious. A trip to wonderland rather, all our childhood pranks relived. Such thrill it must have been to the perpetrators... At least their holi was well spent.
I fail to comprehend if my own emotion is that of forgiveness or resignation. Shouting at the top of my lungs and yet....all that the mirror reflects is a quaint smile.
After so many words ... it only dawns... Damn! I loved that car.... always was the grouch when asked to steer amidst traffic... & still.... I so love my car...
Love... harbinger of misery....seductive mistress... lynches ruthlessly.... my heart aches... I am finally jilted :-D
